8.10.2010

Rapture Insurance for Old Yeller, Anyone?

Earth Bound Pet writes, "You've committed your life to Jesus. You know you're saved. But when the Rapture comes what's to become of your loving pets who are left behind? Eternal Earth-Bound Pets takes that burden off your mind."

The plan is simple--you pay $110, and if the rapture occurs within 10 years of your insurance payment, Earth-Bound Pet swears to come to your home, take your pet, and care for it in your absence. Each additional pet is $15, and EBP will actually give you a 15% discount if you don't make the first ten year rapture mark and want to extend your insurance.

Is this a joke? Apparently not, more than 200 people have signed up for the service--add it up, that's $22,000. If you are wondering about the chance of EBP employees also being raptured and breaching their contract, no need to fear--they are confirmed athiests. I think the plan would also be convincing if Reformed people had thought of it, but we're just not that cutting edge. READ MORE


15 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Here's another instance of canine care :) (click here)

    ReplyDelete
  3. This is one of the moments where you say, "Why didn't I think of that???"

    Genius!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Todd, a logical conclusion to the ex opere view of the sacrament--I'm in shock, thanks for the link.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Brad, you mean to tell me in your rapture believing days you never thought of this one?

    ReplyDelete
  6. It is nice to see that so many atheists will not be witnessed to so these people can have the peace of mind that their dog, cat, mongoose, feral rat etc. will be taken care of while they are way off yonder.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Daniel, yeah a little bit selfish, huh?

    ReplyDelete
  8. Never mind ol yeller - what about your kids?!?!?!?!?!

    http://www.rapture-orphan-rescue.com/

    ReplyDelete
  9. If you're post-mil you get to keep your pets.

    ReplyDelete
  10. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  11. That's awesome. My only question is, in the eyes of the dispensational premillenialist, do I have to believe specifically in the rapture (in addition to Christ) in order to be included in it once it takes place?

    Is the model Christ + rapture endorsement in order to be saved (raptured)? Or will I be raptured despite my pig-headed amillennialism?

    It's an important question if I am going to successfully undercut the atheists business model. After all, if they think I only need Christ to be ensured my place in the rapture, and thus joining them in that glorious copout (I mean event), they are hardly going to trust me with their pet.

    And you thought theology didn't have serious implications on daily life!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I want to say Rev! That sermon you had sunday night was SO AWESOME! The Holy Spirit sure works in you incredibly, I love how you are humble about your life as a pastor and you know that it is not you but the Holy Spirit that does the work on the pulpit!I will continue to pray that he gives you what you need to fulfill your calling. May God continue to Bless you and your flock. ~ Constant visiter @ nights and member of the American Reformed Church Tim Burger

    ReplyDelete
  13. Thanks Tim, your love for the gospel is a real encouragement to me!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Mark, I did think about this..hmmm, I think they would say you're in, but, maybe not--it used to be a real test of orthodoxy. I'm pulling for you, though!

    ReplyDelete